December 2007
50 posts
“To 2008, then. May we all be unafraid and unabashed in our living.”
– Wife.‘Nuff said.
Hubris
Just to even out this whole “I am so smart” thing, I will tell you what I did yesterday. I wanted to make scrambled eggs for my sister. I meant to crack the egg on the bowl, put the yolk in the bowl, and put the shells in the garbage disposal. Instead, I cracked the egg on the bowl, but dumped the yolk in the garbage disposal. As I stood at the sink, holding only the shell in my hand...
Wifey in the new year. →
Everytime I read something Wifey says about me, I think, “I am soooo smart!” If only we could always see ourselves through our best friend’s eyes. (See the second to last paragraph.)
“I wanna get drunk and paint on my boogie board.”
– Random kid at my friend’s brother’s house when I asked him what he was doing tonight. Would these be my plans for the evening if I moved back home?
ShakyFace →
Laura & I created this today to celebrate the best game ever: ShakyFace. You relax your cheeks (no smiling!), shake your face, and snap a picture mid-shake. Best. Game. Ever.
1 tag
I was so happy when they came to see my play. I... →
Awww, Theana loves me. →
“I might as well as cut out all my ladyparts … and my brain too.”
– Me on my family history of cancer and Alzheimer’s.
“I don’t think most people are as into telepathy as I am.”
– Me on why I don’t seem to be communicating effectively lately.
“We have received GIANTS for entry in the 2008 Pulitzer Prize
competition. The...”
– Pulitzer Prize Website Manager. BA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
I didn't get in. WTF. I (kind of not really) have... →
“I am in bad shape, lady, bad shape.”
– My driver to JFK. He was farting a lot. He would fart, and then spritz that car service air freshener that doesn’t smell like anything but car service. I gave him a big tip just for the entertainment. It was even funnier because it was 4am and I hadn’t yet gone to bed.
“No thongs. I will wear a thong when Tibet is free.”
– My baby sister. She was the first person to ever think I was famous.
“A decoupage of the human experience.”
– Me. This is why I need 6 other people to help me write a mission statement for a theater company.
“You wanna make it? Make it happen. You want a Pulitzer? Nominate yourself! You...”
– Liz
drunk snack
Liz: Lick my hummus.
Laura: Suck my cheeto.
“I am, I am, I am.! Aiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee!”
– My Caribbean Dance teacher. She wears a loincloth made of gold bangles over her leggings. So hot.
“I don’t need alcohol to have fun. I just want to hang out with the people...”
– Liz
I started going to the gym because Scott Baio got... →
And now he’s married. What does this mean for me? If Scott Baio can get married, I can definitely be famous.
Some people think I'm famous for this
www.vonhottie.com But actually I’m famous for this
SOLD OUT
…of medium tanks! Woo! Only like 8 million more apparel pieces to go.
Narcissism
Sometimes I think I am a narcissist. But then I notice that other people seem interested in me too, so it must be ok.
von Hottness will change the world.
