The Hawaii Chair
This reminds me of the time someone asked me if I needed a passport to get to Hawai’i. via He Who Laughs.
Image via Flickr, via Gothamist.
I’m still drunk, naked, and in bed. I’m a hot mess who’s going...– Me, in a text message at 3 p.m. today. When I got home last night at 5 a.m. I painted my toenail. When I woke up this morning, my whole toe was covered in red nail polish.
1. Shed inhibitions that serve no constructive purpose. 2. Declare your...– Free Will Astrology, Taurus.
master of FINE arts
Shoutout to my wife, who travels up to Vermont today for her first session for her M.F.A. in Writing at Vermont College. It’s a low-residency program, which means I still get to see her in NYC, so she’ll be working a full-time job AND getting her degree. I’m so proud of my master-of-damn-she’s-fine wifey! Every little thing she does is magic.
Genius of Honor is in full gear
I am simultaneously planning three bachelor/ette parties. Here comes Wedding-Fest 2008!
I’m never going to another wedding without the Genius of Honor.– Luke, on the first wedding he’s photographed/attended without me. What a sweetie. I trained him well.
I finally made my personal website because, you know, I’m the Donald Trump of the Internet, and obviously I needed more real estate.
the first rule of show business is . . .
… give them what they want. I got this comment on my Autumn Hurlbert fan video, which I posted on You Tube (god knows why): hun, this is a great idea but you look like 16327836127893627891362178963 miles of bad road. clean up, put some light on, and make yourself look a little better, because no autumn fan is gonna wanna watch this video if this is what they see. sorry but that’s...
Chelsea Art Museum Great Gatsby Party!
peterwknox: Chelsea Art Museum’s Summer Soiree Series Kickoff! New York City.com : Events : Editorial Review F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald Great Gatsby Party! F. Scott Fitzgerald was famous not only for writing The Great Gatsby, but also, along with his wife Zelda, for inspiring a creative way of life which often bordered on pure decadence. On Thursday, June 26, from 9 pm to 1 am,...
This week I got rejected from Juilliard and GIANTS was rejected by Luna Stage. I have however, been invited to a lot of parties, so if I listen to what the universe is telling me, I should be fabulous professionally. Juilliard sent my script back, so the package looked really big. Rejection letters are usually one page long, so for a minute I thought I got in. But that was a lie. Thanks for the...
Adrienne and I were at the Public Theater’s gala last night in Central Park. This is a hilarious video from NY Magazine. The best part is a drunk Kathleen Turner doing McCain as the The Wall from Midsummer Night’s Dream.
it's exhausting being fabulous
Oh la la, poor me, I have to go to all these fahncy schmahncy parhties this week. It’s *so* exhausting being this fabulous. Jeeves, What should I wear? That’s right kids, I’m gonna be totally Julia Allison about this and take a moment to brag about my schedule: Sunday: Splinter Group TONY viewing party at The Zipper, followed by crashing the Passing Strange TONY after-party....
Hooray! von Hottie 08!
just one of the highlights of my TONY night
Me: (crashing the Passing Strange party) You guys are awesome. I love Passing Strange. I love Stew. Stew and I are having drinks next week.
Stew's band: You're having drinks with Stew? Do you wanna get crabs?
Me: Hmmm . . . thanks for the VD warning.
this meeting has been called to order
My bottle of rose and I are celebrating the Grown Ass Woman’s Club in solidarity with Khaliah who has not been swept away by the flooding in Iowa.
How to fold a t-shirt in 2 seconds. This has changed my life! I might actually fold my own clothing now!
firetrucks keep circling my block
If they want to see me, why don’t they just knock on the door?
thunderstorms in new york
Today’s the kind of day where everyone should just take off their clothes and dance in the rain. Ready … GO!
it's 4:48 am*. i'm eating wheat thins.
It’s 4:30 in the morning and my legs are aching and my mind is leisurely tracing the perimeter of sleepland when Khaliah calls me to tell me she hasn’t been washed away by Iowa’s floods. She’s a little miffed that I didn’t call her to make sure she wasn’t washed away by the floods (but she also says she would never blame me for anything) and she also wants to...
Celebrate Loving Day →
Shoutout to my “biracial bitches!” I love you and would marry you anytime! lindsaycampbell: This week marks the 40th anniversary of the legalization of interracial marriage.
Introducing the Christine Farrell School for...
Come to our one and only show! The Christine Farrell School for Wayward Comediennes with: Adrienne Dawes Katie Hartman Sarah Martinez Leah Rudick and Laura von Holt Please join us and our friends, The Impending Moustache, for our sketch comedy debut! Knee socks, displaced French students, and the dynamic ukulele stylings of the Ukuladies! The Impending Moustache f/ The Christine...
The von Hottie cocktail
It’s official. I’ve fulfilled a life-long (ok, drinking life-long) goal of having a cocktail named after me. The Dove, aka my living room between the hours of 11 pm and 4 am, has agreed to call this cocktail: Champagne St. Germain Lemon twist the von Hottie!!!!! It’s an insider’s-only cocktail, meaning it won’t be on the menu, so you have to be...
i am such a nerd
moar funny pictures I addition to this, I made the most embarrassing fan video for Autumn. She has to win! I’m losing street cred by the minute!
I would just like to point out that von Hottie has had her own condoms since December of 2007. “vondoms” are totally bipartisan. peterwknox: Who would you rather use as protection? obamacondoms.com or mccaincondoms.com I guess the bigger question is whether you should even bring politics into the bedroom in the first place? (thanks Mike, I think)
Theana’s students read a romance novel out loud every night during their field trip, and then they wrote a song about it that they sang every night. It’s amazing. Click on the title of this post to see the video.
See! Isn’t Autumn rad! She’s five feet of AWESOME!
uh huh oh yeah
Going to rehearsal tonight for a skit in Clubbed Thumb’s Summerworks Kick-Off performance. The conceit is that several artists come up with a proposed amendment to the Constitution - my team’s proposal being that every citizen has the right to a full breakfast. I am playing the Queen of Breakfast, which was pitched to me as “Lady Liberty , aka Billy Flynn, aka Gypsy Rose...