July 2008
45 posts
Genius of Honor is in full effect at the bridal... →
I got really serious about Kate & Amanda’s ribbon hats.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks Universe.
Of course the minute I’m about to leave town, someone wants to interview me for TV. She saw my postcard at Yippee cafe, which I have never been to and don’t recall putting my postcard there.
[UPDATE: Oh yeah, now I remember. I put out my postcards there the night this happened to me and Adrienne.]
Weddingfest 2008 is beginning . . . →
…and I’m going to get some mileage out of it over at Genius of Honor. But don’t worry, you’ll see updates here too.
The devil tempted me and I got a Twitter. →
I’m gonna try it out on you folks and then see if I want to announce it to von Hottie’s larger audience. The problem I’m having is a recurring one: where does von Hottie end and Laura begin? Because von Hottie doesn’t do all the things Laura does, and really I could just make up stuff that von Hottie does and send them to Twitter.
So what do you think? Should I keep my...
All scenes are the same scene →
This bit on the New York Magazine blog reminds me of how I feel sometimes in the theater world - especially the downtown theater world. It’s why I sometimes don’t like to even go to the theater - I want to see the show but I have no interest in dealing with the bullshit.
Jezebel.com's Instructional Makeup Video →
Slut Machine from Jezebel put together probably one of the best instructional makeup application videos. You have to watch it because:
a) Her model is a man but her mission is a woman’s daytime look.
b) She uses her Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator to apply mascara to see if she can get the same effect as Estee Lauder’s Vibrating Mascara. Yes, that’s right. She uses her vibrator to...
Jimmy is featured in Thrillist! →
Jimmy Carbone is von Hottie’s #1 fan. I’m standing on his bar in the November picture of the 2008 calendar. Tonight he opened a wine bar and cafe at HERE, where my play, GIANTS, premiered last year.
I was really happy for Jimmy, but super sad that his dreamboat host, Rusty, is moving out of New York tomorrow. Jimmy tried to hook us up last Halloween. He told me to talk to Rusty about...
Holly Golightly moment
I was walking down the street in SoHo, wearing a black cocktail dress, pearls, big sunglasses and red pumps, listening to my friend read the first paragraph of her chick-lit novel about a sassy gal-about-town in New York. We got cut off, but as I was reading the labels of the wine bottles in the liquor store on Spring Street, I pretended to still be on the phone so I could take a moment to watch...
Want to be a von Hottie intern for a day?
von Hottie’s being filmed for a documentary by kART Across America on Wednesday afternoon. I need an extra hand or two to help out during the photo shoot and interview (hold my coverup and bag, hand out postcards, tell me if I have a wedgie, etc.). It’ll be from 2-6pm on Wednesday afternoon. If you’re interested, contact vonhottie@vonhottie.com. Spread the word if you can!
My Luke is on Gawker! →
Kart Across America →
is filming a von Hottie shoot on Wednesday for their documentary! And they’ll interview me in Luke’s studio!
"on the street where she lives"
Liz: What's your address?
Me: I thought I put it on the invoice?
Liz: It was all musical notes.
Me: Hahahaha. Of course. I live in LA-LA land.
“Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re...”
– Chelsea Handler
K-dawg, I’m looking at you.
My harem - 10 and counting
My fake family keeps growing and growing.
To date I have:
- Wife
- Gay Boyfriend
- Fake Husband
- Facebook Fiancee
Two Lesbian Mothers
- Mistress
- Boyfriend - you know, someone to go out to dinner with and call all the time.
- And two imaginary children, Peaches and Seamus, with Luke and Roman, respectively.
Man, Christmas is going to be a bitch.
Pay this guy $200 per square inch and he'll tattoo... →
(via peterwknox)
I’m seriously tempted to ask this guy to tattoo “vonhottie.com” on his forehead.
“I never wake up before noon, it’s the secret to my successful existence.”
– Charles Bukowski.
Amen.
WatchMy girl Autumn made it to the final episode of MTV’s Legally Blonde! Final Episode is next Monday! Yay Autumn! Vote for her here!
Streaking in the Park
I just got my invitation to the opening night of HAIR at Shakespeare in the Park, and it reads:
ATTIRE: OPTIONAL.
So now the staff of the Public Theater has dared me to see how many cast members I can convince to streak with me after the show. Oh, it’s on! It is BROUGHTEN!
“What’s nonsociety.com? Sounds like something I wouldn’t like as a corporate law...”
– my adorable high school friend Elly, who is about to graduate from Yale Law.
What IS nonsociety, mmm? ;) (via juliaallison)
JA is starting a business with her gal pals. I’m getting all gooey. This reminds me of when my friends and I would get all, “Gee Whiz! Let’s put on a...
I just got engaged!
… on Facebook! And if you’re jealous, then you should have asked first! I can’t help it if Diego wanted to buy the cow even though I was giving away the milk for free.
I can’t believe though that my Facebook fiancee is making me convert to Facebook Judaism. At least he’s a famous choreographer. This weekend he’s flying to LA to meet with Matt Damon and Steven...
My fairy godmother is so famous →
My WFG (Wicked Fairy Godmother) is rad. She’s the only woman I know who can build a fence, paint a picture, and cook dinner for 13, all in one afternoon, trailed by a small herd of various pets. She (Judy) and her sister (Pat) were featured in the local Big Island paper for all of their awesomeness. (Link above.)
A few years ago, my sister’s dishwasher broke and the first person she...
“The only thing wrong with you is a little bit of crazy.”
– Khaliah, after I told her I was convinced that I was going to be diagnosed with leukemia brought on by high blood pressure.
At Sandy's going-away party, I took some emotion...
Aaron: Goodbye. Good luck. Take risks.
Sandy: I'm trying.
Laura: [starts to cry] It's so beautiful.
Sandy: Shut up, von Holt.
“I don’t drunk dial. I don’t drunk text. I drunk download Bon Jovi on...”
– My friend Selda. 