January 2009
32 posts
Dating a Banker Anonymous →
These girls started a blog so they could commiserate about how lame it is to date a banker in these tough economic times. At first I was like, Give Me a Motherlovin’ Break, but then I thought back to the early days of 2008… .
It was a beautiful time. I stood on the corner of 8th & 6th Ave, under the awning of Gray’s Papaya. Soon enough, my bankers in shining Brooks Brothers...
Would you still do what you're doing if Barack was... →
Drink coffee topless? Yes.
Alice Walker's Letter to President Obama →
“I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster that the world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible for bringing the world back to balance. A primary responsibility that you do have, however, is to cultivate happiness in your own life.”
Remember when we used to quote the President and it was a joke? Now it’s for reals.
Where do I start?
What am I supposed to do to begin the work of remaking America?
I’m deathly ill with a bad flu and it’s just like that episode of Sex & The City where Samantha is sick and can’t get any of the guys she’s slept with to bring her soup. I just need some tea and a thermometer. But it’s ok, because unlike Samantha, I have the internet, and now there is tea, ice cream, a thermometer, and chicken noodle soup headed my way, courtesy...
“Laura, even pervs have feelings.”
– My sister, when I was being mean to a booty caller.
Best things my sister has ever said
Drunk guy: So what are you doing in New York?
Mele: I teach Jazzercise at NYU.
*Then we show him our jazzercise moves from 1989*
*******
Drunk guy: Do you surf in Hawai'i.
Mele: Yeah, but anything less than a 10 foot pipe is not worth my time. I won't even get out of bed for anything less than 20-30 feet.
*We all know she only goes out if it's only 2-3 feet*
I don't know who Mookie is, but I would like to... →
The Top 7 Butterbodies →
meaghano:
tesslynch:
The common denominator is that none of these women would sleep with someone from Spike TV.
HA. Yeah, all I could think as I read this is *never gets laid*can’t get it up*doesn’t know where the clitoris is*his mother didn’t love him*NEVER GETS LAID
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my defense mechanism in a nutshell.
The author of this article will be receiving a von...
Overheard in the recession, part 1
I just overheard a lady in the post office tell her friend that a painting from the same artist in her gallery that would have sold for $3 million last year now sells for $230,000.
Today is the first von Holiday of 2009! Celebrate!
In 2009, von Hottie has designated one day a month as a “von Holiday” - a chance for everyone to celebrate their own von Hottness*.
So, in honor of January 13, the first von Holiday of 2009, von Hottie has a few suggestions to help you mark the day:
1) Drink champagne in bed.
2) Compliment a stranger.
3) Bring a treat to a friend.
How did you celebrate your von Holiday?...
Criminal on the loose in SoHo?
Why at 4:30 am is there a helicopter flying low over SoHo? Is The Dove really that desperate for my business?
“If someone shot you because you were a gay activist, I would carry a candle in a...”
– Me, to my straight friend, after seeing Milk.
I LOVE ME SOME GAYS and I know there are a lot of important lessons I was supposed to take away from the movie, but all I kept thinking was:
I have got to get on a Pride float.
Also, where were all the gay ladies in the movie? It made it seem like...
my friend's dog ate my underwear
The other night I went to my friend’s house to drink wine and watch House Bunny with him and another friend. He has this cute little French bulldog who sleeps with his tongue sticking out. After about half a bottle of wine, I went to the bathroom and the puppy followed me in. I’m thinking “Oh how cute the puppy loves me, we’re buddies. Ok, puppy, you can watch me...
itsasickness.com →
I think everyone should go to Alan Cummings’ new site, It’s A Sickness, and say they are obsessed with vonhottie.com
It bothers me when people write TM after some dorky phrase they think they made up, but their dorky phrase isn’t really trademarked. If you really care that much or think you are that original, suck it up, file the application, pay the $400, and trademark the bitch.
My new boyfriend is so sad to see me go
TSA guy: Any fireworks in your bags?
Me: (pointing to heart) Only in here.
Almost been there
bride: you know, if I get my period, as my maid of honor, you have to change my tampon for me.
